Riana's Cavatina (Sonata of Love Book 2) Page 11

  “Miss Riana,” he said as he came back and knelt before me. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  I silently shook my head as I brought the cool bottle to my lips.

  “She’ll be okay, Raul. She’s just overwhelmed.” She rubbed my knee then turned back to him. “Could you, maybe just give us a few minutes? Alone?”

  Raul stood. “Of course. I’ll be right outside by the car.”

  Lexi allowed me to remain quiet and still for more than a few moments. I released a long breath. “Alright. I’m okay.” I glanced to Lexi and tried my best to give a convincing smile. “Should we keep looking around?”

  I stood, but slowed my movements because I realized not only was this all mine now, but it had once been my father’s; a man more intimately connected to me than any other man in the world, but whom I knew so very little about. I fingered the throw blankets hung on the back of the chair, browsed the magazines that rested on the table, and smelt the candles placed on the mantle.

  Lexi led me through the kitchen and dining room towards the hallway and bedrooms. “Holy shit, Ri.” Lexi breathed as she opened the door to one of the bedrooms; the bedroom I had to assume was the master due to its size and luxurious design. The room alone was at least twice the size of mine and Lexi’s apartment. It had the same type of windows the living room had which brought the vast desert and distant mountains into the room. A fireplace stood independently away from the far right wall, creating a bit of a nook filled with bookshelves behind it. I weaved through it and back around to the front where I found a print of one of my high school senior pictures hung above the mantle.

  I gasped and placed my hand to my mouth. I felt my eyes well up with tears and I collapsed to my knees as I sobbed. “Goddammit! Screw you, Bill. How dare you keep pictures of me like that—like you actually cared!” Lexi gathered me in her arms. “If he cared so damn much to keep my picture in his master bedroom, why the hell didn’t he come see me? Why did he bail on our visits?”

  Lexi continued to rock me until my sobs subsided. I leaned against the side of the bed and allowed my gaze to take in the rest of the room. “I think I’m going to redecorate.”

  A short laugh escaped Lexi. “What, you don’t like the gold and red?”

  I sniffled and shook my head as I laughed lightly. “Not really. I’m thinking more blues and greys. Or maybe even a dusty blush kind of color.”

  “I think that’d look really nice, Ri.” She squeezed my hand, then stood. She started to explore as I remained where I was. Eventually I stood and followed Lexi to the master bath, where I decided I was officially in love with the house.

  I climbed up and into the huge soaking Jacuzzi tub. “Yeah, this will do just fine.” I laughed.

  Lexi had turned the corner outside of the bathroom and gasped. “Riana, you are never going to believe this closet! It’s like the size of our dorm room sophomore year!”

  I figured she was being dramatic as I lugged myself out of the tub and followed her path. My jaw dropped when I realized that she wasn’t being dramatic at all.

  The rest of the house continued to amaze us. It definitely needed some updates in the way of style, and it was still difficult to wrap my head around the fact that it was now all mine, but I loved it. I loved it even more once we got back outside and I took the time to explore the out-buildings; the stable, barn, and guest house. “A guest house!? I’m definitely going to need some wine tonight while I attempt to process.”

  “Miss Graham, you have a wine cellar in the basement.” Raul said as he followed behind me and Lexi.

  I gave a short laugh. “Of course I do.”

  I felt Lexi lean into me. “Ri.” She whispered excitedly. “You could get horses now.”

  I resisted the grin I knew spread over my face. I had always wanted horses, ever since I was a little girl. “Indeed I could, Lexi dear.”

  Lexi and I extended our trip. I felt I had to devise a plan in regards to the ranch. Well, that, and why go back to the frozen land of the damned when instead we could explore my new house? Seemed like a no-brainer decision. I discussed with Monty my desire to redesign the ranch and he explained to me how I’d go about getting approval from the board to use money outside of my monthly stipend for such a project. I started to research interior designers and set up meetings with a few of them. I wasn’t sure what it was about interior designers, but they all seemed to strike me as extremists; either modern to the extreme, rustic to the extreme, Victorian, or traditional. Every portfolio lacked the range I sought.

  “Ugh, is it so hard to ask for someone that isn’t set on transforming this whole place into one large Colonial Plantation, or freaking futuristic spaceship?” I asked as I turned my back on the large front door after our latest designer left.

  I met Lexi in the sitting room where she flipped through the portfolio that had been left behind. “Well, we do have one more this evening.” She said.

  “Hmm, which one was that again?”

  “Chelsea Sanborn.”

  “Right, the young one.” I commented as I sat next to Lexi.

  “She’s not that young, she’s a bit older than us.” Lexi laughed.

  “Which means in the world of design, she’s young. But hey, let’s hope that means she’ll understand more what I’m looking for.”

  And she did. Oh, how beautifully she understood what I was looking for. I knew the general ideas I had in terms of colors and metals—as in no brass—but Chelsea took off running. She put together art, fabrics, textures, metals, contrast, and cohesion. When she came back to the ranch three days later with her finalized plan I was stunned by the masterful creation her portfolio presented. She had samples of everything from wood tones, tile, drapery, and paint colors.

  “Alright Chelsea, I love this.” I said as I let the drapery fabric for the main living room slip through my fingers. “I love all of it.”

  “That’s great Miss Graham!” She said happily.

  “Riana. Please.” She nodded as she smiled, probably happy to be working for a younger, more relaxed client. “Now, I’ll set an appointment with my board of trustees for Tuesday, will you be ready to present this to them?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Great, then once the financials are in order, I’ll hand the place over to you and your team. I’ll have to head back up north soon, as classes start up again week after next, but I’ll come down as often as possible to check in.” Even as I knew it was me making the statement, I was struck by how casually I spoke about making numerous trips across the country to check on the status of the remodel of my ranch. It was reminiscent of how I had lived my life outside of myself for what seemed like forever after being assaulted. Except this time, I was definitely okay with the “me” I needed to become.

  Lexi and I reluctantly booked our flights back to Minnesota. I knew it would probably do me some good to get out of my father’s old house and attempt to process through the murky emotions that I had to repress to get through the legal aspects of his death. I didn’t look forward to the personal side of the process though. I always figured I wouldn’t have much emotional reaction if I ever learned of my father’s passing, given how absent he was for the majority of my life. But the loss still ate away at my core. It wasn’t just the abstract loss of my father; his death brought with it the acute and painful reminder of the loss of my mother as well. I was essentially an orphan, and I wasn’t even thirty.

  “Has Ryan called lately?” Lexi asked tentatively.

  Ryan and I were on yet another hiatus. I wasn’t quite sure if he thought we were together or not; having spent the weekend mostly in bed with him right before I found out my father died would logically lead most people to think we were together. But Ryan wasn’t most people. In the deepest parts of my heart I was his, no title or lack of title changed that. Though it was hard to ignore that he had only called me twice since Lexi and I flew to Arizona almost a month earlier.

  I refused to turn my head to her as I open
ed my notebook in my lap. “No, not lately.”

  I hated that I rarely knew what he was doing. I didn’t know how his classes went, I didn’t really know who he hung out with when he wasn’t with me, I didn’t even know much about his family after all this time together. Sometimes I saw how he kept me just outside of arm’s length, but somehow my mind continued to convince me that we were okay, that it would work out in the end. I couldn’t imagine my life falling into place without him. So if we were at a place that we weren’t okay, then it wasn’t the end.

  “And you didn’t tell him anything about this trip, did you?”

  “No. I didn’t.” I said, my words curt. “You and Sam, Lexi. That’s it. You’re the only ones. Well, you and my new team of financial advisors. This is all a bit much, you know.”

  “I know, Ri. I just thought that, you know, if y’all were as good as you say, that he’d be in on it as well.”

  I huffed as I closed my notebook. “I just need some time before I decide who knows.”

  “Did you at least tell him that your dad died?”

  I closed my eyes and dropped my head. I knew that my answer would indicate just how emotionally distant Ryan and I actually were. “No.” I shook my head as I jumped into my rationalizations. “But I mean, it’s not like my dad and I were close, it’s not like I even attended a funeral that I might have wanted Ryan at with me.”

  I halted in my explanations as a voice whispered inside me, “Even if there had been a funeral that I went to, he probably would have come up with some excuse not to go, or he’d just not show up and offer me no excuse at all.”

  That voice shut down my rationale more often than I could admit to anyone, let alone myself.

  Movement Seven

  After I graduated with my Master’s degree in June I convinced Lexi and Sam to come down to the ranch with me. I told Ryan that I was taking a break with the girls, and he didn’t even bother to ask where we were going or how long I’d be gone. The lack of curiosity left me a bit more than annoyed, and I became completely committed to ignoring him while we were down there.

  I hadn’t allowed the monthly deposits to alter my day to day living much, aside from the fact that I quit my job, updated my car, and paid off my student loans. Ryan didn’t ask much about that either. I loved that Lexi absolutely refused to let me update her car as well. I took a lot of comfort in seeing that she didn’t expect any benefits to my inheritance. Little did she know that in two months, she’d get a car anyway under the guise of a birthday gift.

  The free time that opened up after I quit my job created a void, but it didn’t remain empty for long. I found myself writing more, and not just more frequent blogging—I made a leap of faith and started the book that would change the course of my life. Many things had changed the course of my life, or at least highlighted the course I was supposed to be on. While I tried to remain aloof regarding the journey I wanted to take with the book I knew it would not be inconsequential.

  I made sure that while the ranch was being updated that the stables got cleaned up and modernized as well. I stepped up on the two step stool, tuned my satellite receiver to my favorite Motown station, and turned up the surround sound to fill the whole stable with the soulful sound of Aretha Franklin. I shimmied off the step stool, grabbed an industrial broom, and proceeded to dance, sweep, and sing through the center aisle of the stable. I laughed when I saw that Sonny had her head over her stable door and intently observed my show.

  Sonny was the first horse I adopted after the ranch was finished being remodeled. She was a beautiful, mature, palomino mare. She was an incredible trail horse; perfect for a less experienced rider like me. My only real experience with horses was in the form of trail rides and short camping trips at horse ranches. One of my first investments with the ranch in Arizona was a sound horse and a competent trainer to lead the way honing in my riding skills. It didn’t take long to transcend beginner rider status to more intermediate with the help of intense and frequent lessons. My trainer was certain that I wasn’t just a quick study, I was inherently a horse person—and who was I to argue?

  “Oh come on Sonny, these are classics!” I danced over to her and rubbed her cheek before I kissed her nose.

  “It’s not the music that makes her question your sanity, it’s those dance moves!” Sam teased as she came into the stable. “Lexi wanted me to come get you for lunch.”

  I exaggerated a pout. “I can’t eat now, your cruel words about my dance moves have killed any sense of appetite.”

  Sam shook her head and rolled her eyes at me, knowing full well I wasn’t actually hurt by her teasing. “Whatever, Ri. We all know you have the best moves of all us. It was definitely the singing.” She came to me and draped her arm over my shoulder as I laughed heartily.

  “I would agree with that.”

  After lunch we loaded into my truck and trailer to go pick up the latest additions to our ever growing herd who lived at the ranch. “I still can’t believe you’re buying us each a horse.” Lexi laughed as she slid into the back of the truck.

  “Oh come on! When it comes to riding, it’s always best to have a strong bond with your partner and how else are you going to do that if not by picking out your own horse?”

  “We just don’t want you to feel obligated, Ri.” Sam explained as she pulled herself up and into the front seat.

  “After so long I would imagine y’all would know that I don’t feel obligated to do anything. I especially don’t feel obligated to share my good fortune with my best friends. Now stop.”

  It was a two hour trek down to the Healing Hearts Horse Rescue, and by the time we got there Lexi and Sam had both surrendered to the fact that there was no arguing against them picking out their own horses and they allowed themselves to get excited. “Ri, did you see any on the website that you might want?” Sam asked.

  “I love all my horses, you know that. I don’t think I’ll pick one out today, none of them really called to me. Well, they all call to me,” I laughed, “but none more than the others.”

  “I’m really hoping that the grey mare is as sweet in person as she is in pictures.” Sam said.

  “They’ve never been misleading before in descriptions, so I’m sure she is, Honey. Lex, you haven’t really said if you’re set on one.”

  Lexi rested her chin in her hands as she placed her elbows on the center console of the truck. “I know. I’m a bit torn between Chester and Daisy.” I smiled softly as I kept my eyes on the road. The website had stated that Daisy was Chester’s companion. I didn’t have the heart to break them up. Healing Hearts already knew I intended to adopt both of them. My herd was growing faster than I intended, but the horses brought me more joy than I ever imagined. Knowing I was rescuing them just sweetened the experience.

  “Miss Graham!”

  I turned to see Luna Sanchez, the owner of Healing Hearts Horse Rescue, as she came out of the main building and waved to get our attention. “Luna, please call me Riana. Miss Graham just makes me cringe.” I laughed as I met her in a hug. I was a frequent visitor to the rescue, and had already done more than a couple adoptions. We really should have been on a first name basis months ago.

  “I’m sorry, dear. Riana. It’s so good to see you again.” We started towards the stables. “Remind me again who you’re here to see.”

  “Chester, Daisy, and Lady.”

  “I don’t like her name.” Sam mumbled.

  I draped my arm over her shoulder. “You can change her name.”

  “Oh, absolutely.” Luna agreed. “Lady didn’t even have a name when she came to us four months ago. She’d quickly adapt to a new one.”

  “Perfect.” I said as I nudged into Sam. “So,” I started as we approached the stall that our Lady was in. “What would you like to name her?”

  We stopped at her stall and Sam reached her hand out slowly to her. She was a beautiful Blue Roan, and didn’t seem too apprehensive as she stretched her neck out and gave Sam a short whiff. Afte
r two more hot breaths she took two steps forward and Sam rubbed her cheek. “Lilo.” She said simply.

  I nodded with a smile. “I love it.” I turned to Luna. “And Lilo here is good under saddle?”

  “Very steady and sound.” She assured. Knowing the deal was made Luna lead us down the aisle and to a larger stall that housed two horses. “This is Chester and his companion Daisy.”

  “They’re adorable!” Lexi gushed as she stepped ahead. She turned to me. “How could I ever pick between them?”

  “Oh Lex. You can’t break up a pair.” Her face fell as she likely assumed she couldn’t have either one since they were a pair. “We have to adopt both of them.”

  “Shut. Up.”

  “I’m serious. They’d be heartbroken to be torn apart. They’re both coming home.” Lexi wrapped herself around me in an excited hug.

  “How did I know you’d do something like that?” She laughed. She released me and went back to their stall. “You hear that? You’re both coming home with us! You’re going to love it at the ranch.”

  As we regrouped and made our way back to the main building to complete all the adoption paperwork a chaotic scene caught my eye. Three volunteers attempted to pull an unusually spunky horse from the outside corral. “Luna.” I hissed as I stopped. “He was not on the website.”

  “No. He’s not.” Luna said curtly. “He’s not suitable for adoption, Riana.”

  I did not follow as she resumed her way to the office. My feet were willed by an unknown force to approach the provoked stallion. I vaguely heard Sam’s voice call me to return. The exceptionally large, completely black stallion continued to bounce a bit, almost like a hop, and stomp his front hooves in an attempt to convince the volunteers to let him go as I approached. He tossed his head up and pinned his ears as he snorted and neighed. The poor boy was terrified.