Disillusioned Love Page 3

  “Hmm?” Ri replied with the barbell firmly held under her upper teeth against her bottom lip.

  “This seems hard for you to talk about. I’m sorry, I didn’t--” It was clear in his voice he truly didn’t mean for it to be such a difficult question.

  “Alex, no. No, you didn’t know. I know you didn’t mean to ask such a hard question. And I usually don’t have such a hard time talking about it. I really don’t.” Riana almost laughed at the irony of it being a difficult question for her to answer. She was a renowned author and national speaker on the very topic her book dealt with. It should have been an exceptionally easy question to answer. “I just, didn’t want to have to tell you my sob stories quite yet.” She tried to laugh to lighten the mood. She wasn’t exactly successful.

  “Everyone has their sob stories Ri.” Alex breathed.

  “I know.” Riana murmured, defeated. She knew if he kept going he was sure to break through walls she had so meticulously built. Riana watched a bead of sweat roll down the side of her glass of iced tea. Samantha leaned over and urgently tapped her. “Hold on Alex.” She covered the bottom of her phone and turned to Sam. “What’s up?”

  “It’s almost four Ri, you have your lecture at University of Chicago in two hours.” Sam hinted quickly. Riana gave a quick expletive as she started gathering her stuff. She heard Alex question what was going on.

  “Alex, I am so sorry.” Riana gushed as she stood up and slung her bag over her shoulder. “I have to go. I lost track of time. I have a speaking engagement to go to.” Alex assured her it was okay, despite his slight disappointment in not being able to talk to her more. “Can I call you later?” Riana questioned.

  Alex couldn’t stop the smile that spread over his face and squinted his eyes up. “Of course.” Alex bid farewell, hit end and continued to save Riana’s number into his phone. He sat on the edge of his bed and smiled to himself as his eyes lost focus of anything specific. It was wild for him to be so naturally comfortable with Riana. Alex was usually pretty guarded when it came to new people, call it an after effect of becoming famous at perhaps too young of an age. There was something about the three women that relaxed him, while simultaneously excited him. Who knew what the next conversations would bring; life stories, tears of laughter, political discussions, questions about religion? Alex shook his head to slow the thoughts. It was only one night and one phone call, surely he was getting ahead of himself.

  Lexi and Sam shared a smile and a deep breath at the cafe table before they got up to desperately try to catch up with Riana, who was on a mission to get to campus on time. The afternoon traffic on the streets as well as the sidewalks were not helping Ri however, and Lexi and Sam caught up to her as she waited at the corner for the walk sign to illuminate and give her the okay to cross. “Ri?” Lexi hailed. Riana turned around. It appeared she only then remembered she had been with two other people at lunch.

  “Hey. Sorry. I just really have to go, you know? We still have to get back to my place so I can change and grab my notes.” Lexi and Sam nodded as they all stepped off the curb. They knew all too well how frazzled Riana got before her speaking engagements, especially seeing as Riana also had a hard time staying within a timely schedule.

  “How’d your chat with Alex go?” Sam asked, attempting to get Riana to relax just a bit. Riana smiled, and Sam knew she succeeded.

  “Lovely.” Ri sighed. “I’m going to call him later.” Lexi and Sam were glad to see her happy. Not only were Riana’s speaking engagements more frequent and expanding all over the country; her book was going national and now she had the phone number, and attention, of a man she’d been enthralled with for years.

  Alex sighed as he went back to the living area of the suite. Disappointment crept in when he realized his company for the day would be his big brother Derek and their best friend, and bandmate, Matthew. He threw himself sideways into the huge armchair in the corner.

  “Off the phone so soon?” Derek quipped. Alex pursed his lips as he glared at him.

  “She had a speaking engagement to go to.” Alex explained. “She said she’d call me later.” As Alex smiled he fought to keep the slight blush that threatened to take over his cheeks at bay. It was one of the times he was thankful for his darker skin. Derek nodded from his place on the couch.

  Matthew checked the time on his phone. “So, guys, are we just going to sit here and numb our brains for the next three hours before we grab Rebecca for dinner or are we going to do something productive?” Alex bit his lip in contemplation.

  “Was that today?” Derek questioned. Thanks man for reading my mind. Alex thought as he threw his head back over the arm of the chair to look at Matt.

  “Um, yeah. Remember, she was going to see that speaker and then we were going to steal her for some long overdue brotherly love and bonding.” Matt smiled. Rebecca wasn’t actually Matt’s sister, she was Alex and Derek’s but being as D.M.A. had been together for so long, they were all like family.

  “Otherwise known as obnoxious teasing and undeniable embarrassment.” Alex laughed. “What do you guys think, want to hang here or maybe investigate her campus while she’s attending that thing?”

  “Let’s check out the campus. The University of Chicago has some amazing architecture I’d love to photograph.” Matt offered. He seemed giddy at the prospect of looking like a horrible tourist or maybe a creepy peeping tom taking pictures through windows.

  Chapter Three

  Waiting On The World To Change

  Lexi, Sam and Riana got to U of C with about a half hour to spare. It was the perfect amount of time for Riana to have a coffee to calm her excited nerves. She knew it was contradictory, to use a stimulant such as caffeine to relax, but it was habit. It’s not that she had any fear of her speaking engagements, only too much excitement. It calmed within the first ten minutes of her being on stage. Riana stood to the side of the stage and took in her surroundings as the heavy red curtain blocked her from the view of the steady stream of people that were beginning to fill the auditorium. Riana smiled to herself and embraced the feelings that took over her. She was aware she would change the life of every person who entered the room. Each person took something different from her story, but they all left changed.

  Lexi came up behind Riana and softly called her name as to not draw attention to them. Riana turned to her and smiled softly, her excitement and joy clearly bounced off her bright eyes. Lexi brought Riana’s coffee to her, just the way she liked it; without the annoying cardboard sleeve around it. Riana took the cup from Lexi’s hand and thanked her quietly. She turned back around to watch the auditorium fill up with students, faculty and community members. “It’s going to be a great audience Ri.” Lexi commented from her side. Riana took a sip of her coffee and hummed in agreement.

  The U of C campus was absolutely beautiful and Matthew was having a glorious time photographing it. Being as the University first opened its doors back in 1892, the historical nature of much of its architecture was immense, and right up Matthew’s alley. Rebecca had told Matt her lecture would take until about seven, which gave the guys an hour and a half to explore and hope their presence went unnoticed. “So was this lecture thing for a class?” Derek asked from a bench as Matthew ventured off to snap more pictures.

  “I don’t think so. She said something to the effect of her school had booked some public speaker, author woman and she was really interested in going. Which is why were are here, waiting.” Matthew distractedly replied, too focused on capturing angels and perspectives most people wouldn’t think to look for in photography.

  “Hmm, so what’s this person giving a lecture on anyway?” Alex wondered as he precariously walked along the stone edge of a pond in the courtyard they were currently in.

  Matthew pulled his face away from his camera and tried to remember exactly how Rebecca explained it.“Becca said she was a woman who had lived through some terrible things, abuse and rape. She now speaks about the healing journey she took and what
she learned through those experiences. I think Rebecca is so interested because of the work she’s been doing with the campus Women’s Center here. Apparently this woman is pretty big in the area of sexual violence and how society kind of encourages and allows it.”

  “You know,” Derek started, “that sounds like something Riana, Lexi and Samantha might be interested in. What with their interest in society and such. Alex, why don’t you call Ri and see if she wants to go?”

  Riana was giving herself one last check in the mirror before starting when her cell phone began to ring. “What the hell?” She mumbled to herself as she fished her phone out of her bag. “Alex Cell” flashed before her and she couldn’t help but smile despite her initial annoyance. “Hey there.” She answered as she nestled the phone on her shoulder.

  “Well hello.” He greeted. Riana could tell he had that contagious grin again.

  Riana waited a moment but when Alex didn’t continue she asked, “So, what’s up?” As much as she enjoyed talking to the boy, she did have some important things to attend to.

  “Well, you see… my sister is attending this lecture...thing on her campus at U of C and we thought it might be something you and the girls would be interested in. Something about societal effects on women and the problems of rape and stuff.” Riana almost laughed, but stopped herself. “Oh, but wait, you said you had something to go to yourself right? Oh man, I’m sorry.” Alex quickly apologized.

  “Oh Alex, it’s fine. I am doing something, but that was pretty cool of you to think of us, it does sound really interesting.” She grinned as she again approached the side of the stage. “It’ll be something I’ll look into another time.”

  “Sweet. Well, I’ll let you go. We’re just going to hang out for a while then take Becca out for dinner. So I’ll give you a call later, if that’s okay?”

  “Of course Alex, that’s fine.” At the mention of Alex’s name Lexi and Sam gave Ri knowing grins. Riana playfully rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at them. “Have a good evening, I’ll talk to you later.” She turned her phone off after Alex hung up and put it snugly back in her bag before she handed it to Sam. The director of the U of C Women’s Center did Riana’s introduction and Riana excitedly bounced in her place as she waited to take center stage.

  Matthew continued to snap pictures around campus as he, Alex and Derek explored while they waited for Rebecca. Alex and Derek ventured off a bit on their own, afraid to be categorized with “the weird guy taking pictures of things.” Instead they chose to talk about Alex’s newly developed friendship with Riana. “So you really like talking to her huh?” Derek questioned. Alex chewed his lip for a moment.

  “Well, yeah. I mean, we haven’t gotten a chance to really talk much one on one, but she’s wonderfully interesting. C’mon D, you were there last night as well.” Alex grinned. Derek smiled in response and nodded.

  “So, do you think you two will stay in touch after we leave?” D.M.A was only in Chicago for a short stay regarding business. It was a harsh reality that a fair amount of distance was about to separate the new friends.

  “I haven’t really thought about it, but I suppose it’d be cool.” Alex started to wonder if Riana hoped they’d stay in touch as well. It had been a long time since Alex had connected with anyone the way he had with Riana, Lexi and Sam. It was invigorating, exciting and oddly comforting.

  As Riana’s speech closed she was once again moved by the tear-streaked faces in the audience, the heartbroken souls, and the massive applause thanking her for her time and story. She stayed behind as she typically did after her engagements. She spoke with the workers from the center who worked so tirelessly to get her there. She shook hands and shared hugs, then started her walk outside. As was also typical, she was stopped a few times to chat quietly with people who had similar stories. She took her time to offer them reassurance and optimism for the future. As she ascended the stairs one of the women from the center stopped and called out to a young woman who sat solemnly in a seat by herself. “Rebecca, you okay?” The lady looked up. Long, wavy, dark hair parted way to show a pair of red, swollen and teary eyes. Riana’s heart instantly broke. The young woman sniffled, wiped her eyes and nodded.

  “Yeah,” she started as she cleared her throat. “I’m okay. I’m just so moved.” She finished as she stood up, and grabbed her things. She approached Riana and gave a weak smile. Riana smiled softly in return.

  “Hi.” Riana greeted and offered her hand. The young women looked down at Ri’s hand tentatively before she took it.

  “Rebecca.” The young woman stated simply as she released Riana’s hand. “It’s so amazing to meet you.” Riana often had a hard time with compliments; she didn’t find herself amazing. Her experiences were not unique, or rare, she just happened to be one of the few women in the world who had the strength and passion to speak out about it. Riana thanked her anyway. “Your story is so inspiring and so heartbreaking. I can’t believe you’ve gone through all of that and became the woman you are.”

  “Ah, that’s the thing Rebecca. I am the woman I am today because of what I’ve gone through.” She smiled just a bit. “It’s all about perspective.” Rebecca nodded thoughtfully and for a moment she reminded Ri of someone though she couldn’t place who. They began their walk to the back of the auditorium and the doors to lead them outside when Lexi and Samantha came up behind Riana. “Well hello kittens.” Riana cooed. They smiled and praised Ri on yet another speech done beautifully. Riana looked around to introduce them to Rebecca and the other women from the center but they had gotten ahead of them.

  Alex realized the time had come; Rebecca should be finished with her lecture at any minute. “Hey guys, it’s time to go get her!” Alex cackled maniacally as he ran in the direction of the auditorium. They reached the auditorium as a steady stream of people exited. “Damn, guys, how are we supposed to find her in this?” Alex asked as he scanned the crowd.

  “Let’s just stand back and watch for her, if we don’t see her we’ll just call her cell.” Derek offered as he sat down on the edge of a landscaping wall across from the exit. Alex and Matthew hopped up next to him. The rush of people slowed to a trickle, yet they still hadn’t spotted Rebecca. Just as Derek started to pull out his phone to call her she came out with a small group of other women. She looked distraught. Matthew called out to her and her face instantly brightened as she smiled and waved. She turned to her friends to say goodbye then hurried to the guys.

  Alex got up and met her halfway, wrapped her in a tight hug and swung her around. “ALEX!” She squealed and laughed. Alex put her down and grinned.

  “Becca, you okay? You look upset.” Matthew inquired. He had always been a natural father type.

  “Yeah, I’m okay. It was just a hard speech to sit through, but it was amazing.” Rebecca continued to tell her two brothers and her surrogate a rough outline of the story she had just listened to. The guys were heartbroken. The issue of sexual violence was no secret, but to sit and hear the gritty details of being repeatedly hurt, even second hand, was difficult.

  “Alex!?” A voice shrieked from the auditorium. Alex froze for a second and feared the worst, like a mob of crazy fans. He took a breath and braved the outcome of lifting his eyes to the direction of his name.

  “Ri!?” He called out when he saw her, Lexi and Samantha come down the steps outside the auditorium. Riana smiled and quickened her pace. “What are you doing here?” Alex exclaimed as he wrapped her in a hug. A hug? Why did I hug her? It was a reflex I swear! Alex felt a moment of panic when he realized his mistake but Riana didn’t seem to mind as she hugged him tightly and pulled away still beaming. “I thought you had that speaking... engagement…” The pieces came together. “...thing.” Alex looked from Riana to Rebecca then back to Riana.

  “Alex,” Rebecca started, “that’s her.” Alex looked back to Riana and she gave him a shy smile. It hit Alex all at once; what Rebecca had told them about this woman, everything she’d been through. He wanted t
o hug her again. Riana saw the comprehension in Alex’s eyes and knew what he was thinking. She took his hands in both of hers.

  “Alex, it’s okay. I know what you’re thinking and it’s fine, I’m fine.” His eyes were glassy as he fought to keep the tears at bay. He took a deep breath and tried to dry out his tear ducts. He refused to cry in front of her.

  “It was amazing Alex, you should have been there. She’s amazing.” Rebecca gushed.

  Riana could see Alex was still processing everything. She attempted to lighten the mood as she gave a smile and a shrug, “Eh, it’s what I do.” Alex just shook his head in disbelief. His mouth opened slightly as if to say something but he closed it with a soft exhale of air through his nose. Riana admired his features as they stayed locked in each other’s gaze. His skin was tan and smooth. His rich, dark eyes were framed by his even, heavy, black eyebrows. The breeze blew his black hair in every direction. Riana felt a smile creep back onto her face and she quickly looked away before she blushed. She looked over to Rebecca, who had overcome her tears, but still looked confused. “So, you’re Alex’s sister then?” The question shook Rebecca from her thoughts and she grinned.

  “I try not to claim him but sometimes he doesn’t leave me a choice.” Her eyes lit up as she looked at him and laughed.

  “Oh, hey, I’m not that bad of a deal when it comes to big brothers. I mean, you could have been left with just Derek or something.” He laughed. Riana said a silent thank you for the change in focus.

  The change was short lived though as Rebecca turned back to Riana and implored, “So how do you know Alex?” Alex and Riana looked at each other and laughed. Riana grabbed her vertical labret barbell between her teeth for a moment and thought of how to respond, but Alex beat her to it.

  He started with a giggle. “We met after Matt, D, and I overheard her and her two friends over there insulting our fans in a coffee shop downtown.” He nodded towards Lexi and Sam who were joking around with Matt and Derek. Riana looked down. She found the ground in front of her boots suddenly intriguing as she tried to will the blush off her face.