Disillusioned Love Read online

  Riana heard Rebecca laugh and she quickly lifted her head, determined to defend herself. “There was more to it than that and you know it Alex!” She playfully pushed him. “It’s not like that was the main topic of our discussion, it just led there eventually.”

  Alex raised his hands in defense as his smile grew, his perfectly straight and bright white teeth accentuated. “True, true. But that was the moment I decided to go over there and meet them.” Riana tilted her head to the side and gazed at Alex. She had thought it would have been Matthew who would have decided to head over. She wasn’t sure why, just an assumption.

  Just as she thought of him, Matthew sauntered over with the rest of the crew. Matthew didn’t just walk, he definitely sauntered. His lanky six foot frame approached Riana with a smoothness Ri didn’t think was possible. “So what about dinner?” Matthew asked as he draped an arm over Rebecca’s shoulders.

  “Oh man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you!” Riana stumbled over her words. Alex caught her eyes and without a word or a lift of his perfect lips assured Riana that it was more than okay. Riana dropped her eyes from his.

  “Actually, we were wondering if you’d like to tag along with us.” Derek said. “That is, if it’s okay with Rebecca of course.” Riana looked at Samantha and Lexi and they smiled excitedly. Riana then looked to Rebecca, who had a large smile on her face and nodded in agreement.

  “Um, sure, that’d be great.” Riana conceded, though she still felt a touch guilty for having intruded on their family time. “So, where to?”

  With that they gathered together and moseyed towards the parking lot. Discussion took place as to how to best make it downtown from Hyde Park. Lexi mentioned public transportation would be best with the parking situation downtown. However, the point was made given the current company, public transportation might be deemed risky. “Time to split up kittens.” Riana observed. “I’m driving though!” She exclaimed while she scampered off to her black Audi A4. Alex was instantly impressed by her taste in cars.

  The rest of the group hesitantly stood there for a moment. Alex looked around, afraid to make the first move to ride with Riana. “Hey Matt, can I ride with you?” Samantha asked. “Riana has a tendency to dance around to Motown in her car after speaking engagements.” Matthew laughed and accepted the request.

  “Motown eh?” Alex smiled. There was his in. “I’m with Riana!” He yelled as he chased after her.

  Rebecca hollered something to the same effect and trailed after Alex. The split ended up with Alex, Riana and Rebecca in the Audi and Matthew, Derek, Sam and Lexi in the rented Chrysler.

  Alex hopped in the front seat as Riana put in a CD, presumably Motown. She looked up and her eyes lit up. “Hi.” She grinned. The back door opened and shut and Riana turned around. “Hey.” She smiled at Rebecca.

  “We heard about the Motown and simply couldn’t resist.” Alex explained.

  “So you think you can handle it?” Riana teased as she revved the engine, turned up the Alpine and shifted into reverse.

  Chapter Four

  Why Don’t You And I

  “I totally knew that was going to happen.” Matthew snorted as he pulled up behind Riana’s black sporty car.

  “Knew what was going to happen?” Lexi asked from beside Matt.

  Matthew pointed in front of him. “That!” He laughed. “I knew Alex was going to ride with Riana.” Matt couldn’t help but smile. He found amusement in how excited Alex got when he was around Riana or talked to her.

  “Hmm, yeah, I knew too.” Samantha agreed from the back seat with Derek. “I think it’s cute.”

  Derek’s face revealed resistance. “Yeah, cute until reality hits.” He mumbled. Matthew found Derek’s eyes in the rearview mirror and questioned him with a raise of his eyebrows. “Alex seems to have forgotten that Kim is back home waiting for him.”

  “Oh he has not Derek, stop being dramatic.” Matthew scolded. “It’s okay for him to have female friends you know.”

  Derek sighed as he contemplated Matt’s words. “I guess. I just don’t remember ever seeing him quite so...instantly drawn to someone.”

  “That might be so, but we should mention Lexi and I have noticed a smile on Ri we haven’t seen in a long time. But we know she won’t forget about Ryan back home either.” Sam commented. “Regardless, I’m happy to see them happy. So,” She turned towards Derek with a serious look in her eye, “let’s just be happy.” It wasn’t a suggestion, more a demand. Matthew looked over at Lexi and tried not to chuckle.

  Riana led the way downtown and found a parking spot, but she and her comrades didn’t exit the car right away. Instead, they continued their hilarious rendition.

  Samantha came over to Riana’s car and knocked on the window. The whir of the window could barely be heard over the music and their obnoxious singing. The look on the faces of Sam, Matt, Derek and Lexi were priceless. The three in the Audi burst out laughing and exited the car.

  “So how long are you guys in Chicago for?”

  Lexi asked as they awaited their dessert. They had talked endlessly through dinner, with more laughter than most would think possible. Riana couldn’t help but feel happier than she’d felt in a long time. It was a perfect ending to a perfect day.

  “Three more days I think? Yeah, today is Friday right?” Riana smiled as Matthew figured out the answer the same way she would; by talking through it aloud to himself.

  “We’re looking at a local band to work with and possibly sign to our label.”

  “Ah, very exciting.” Samantha grinned. Riana looked into her glass of Asti and silently thought to herself how sad it was they’d be leaving in three days. Nothing lasts forever though. She glanced up at Alex and he seemed to have an expression that matched her feelings. She tried to smile.

  “What about you? Do you all live in Chicago?” Rebecca inquired as she spun her straw in her strawberry lemonade.

  “Well, kind of.” Riana replied with a small laugh. “I mean, Lexi lives here. I live here part of the time seeing how my publishing company is here and I have so many meetings with them and my agent. I have a condo about four blocks from here actually. And Sam, well, she’s a free spirit who ends up wherever her heart is at the time.”

  “Which includes a lot of traveling to be by Ri’s side for her speaking engagements.” Samantha smiled. Riana patted Sam's hand under the table and smiled back.

  “So, where does that leave you the rest of the time Ri?” Alex asked.

  Riana laughed as she knew the answer would seem contradictory. “You’d never guess it, but when I’m not at my condo here I’m at my ranch in Arizona.”

  “Downtown Chicago living to a ranch!?” Derek exclaimed with a hearty laugh. “You’re absolutely right, we wouldn’t believe it.” He pursed his lips for a moment in thought, “I guess it keeps it balanced though.”

  “Exactly.” Riana grinned as their desserts were finally placed in front of them.

  “So Ri, are you staying at your place tonight or mine?” Lexi questioned. Typically Riana would stay at Lexi’s after a speaking engagement as it took quite a while for the rush to burn down enough for her to relax.

  That night, however, she decided to head back to her place to do some writing. Inspiration came at the oddest times and she had to catch it before it passed in a fleeting moment. “That’s fine, Ri. Sam and I can take the El home if you wanted to get going.”

  “Oh you will not.” Matthew declared. “I can take you back, I’m heading that way anyway with bringing Rebecca back to school.”

  Riana stretched her arms over her head and twisted her neck with a sigh. “Well, with that all taken care of, I do believe I shall get going.” She asserted as she stood up. Everyone else followed her lead and gathered their things. Hugs were shared, and smiles danced along faces that hurt from too much laughter.

  “Hey Ri?” Alex beckoned from behind her as she reached the large glass door at the front of the restaurant. She turned and smiled at him
with her eyes, anxious to see what he might want. “I think I may have forgotten my keys in your car.”

  “Well then, come on Sparky.” Riana laughed.

  They meandered out of the restaurant and across the street in silence. After Ri got into the car and searched all the obvious and then not so obvious places she started to think the boy had lost his mind. “Alex, I don’t see any keys.” Riana looked up and out the back driver’s side window. She saw Alex was leaned against the car. She twisted herself back out of the car. “There aren’t any keys are there Alex?”

  Alex looked down and shuffled a foot. “No.”

  Riana closed the door and leaned against it next to him. Despite the passing of cars, and the heavy beats of street musicians, there was a soft solitude to the moment as Riana and Alex stood in their own version of silence. “Get in.” Riana commanded as she turned around and opened her door. Alex followed her instruction without question. Riana pulled out and drove down a few blocks and parked her car in the underground parking garage of her building. After she disengaged the ignition Alex turned and looked at her. “Want to go for a walk?” She offered. Alex nodded.

  The garage was still; no air movement to disperse the oppressive scent of exhaust. Their footsteps echoed off the cold, damp cement blocks as they proceeded to the side stairway. Alex pushed opened the heavy steel door and the silence was broken. The bustling sounds of Chicago greeted them. The stale, still air was quickly replaced by warm breezes. Alex and Riana fell into step once on the sidewalk, both of them immersed in their thoughts; a comfortable moment that didn’t need words.

  “I don’t want to go back to New York in three days.” Alex finally admitted.

  “Can I be honest?” Riana asked. He nodded. “I don’t want you to leave in three days either.” They walked for a few more steps before she continued. “It’s just so surreal. There’s something about you, Matt and Derek that feels so familiar, so comfortable. It’s rare to find that in anyone, let alone someone of your stature.” A small smile danced along Riana’s lips.

  “Hey now, I’m not the only famous one here.” Alex quipped as he nudged Riana with his side. He had known she was brilliant when he overheard her eloquent assertions about society; her book and speaking engagements proved it to the rest of the world.

  “Right.” Riana laughed with a small roll of her eyes. “I’m not exactly known the world over and I’m pretty new in my career compared to you. Besides, you weren’t a fan of me before we met like I was of you. Makes it just slightly unbelievable.” Alex nodded. “I just feel like if you leave so soon, we might lose that familiarity.”

  Alex shook his head quickly, his black locks tossed by the movement and the warm breeze that danced around them. “No we won’t.” He proclaimed. “I won’t let us.” Riana blushed as she dropped her head and focused on the dirty, cracked cement before their feet. She knew why she was drawn to him, but she couldn’t comprehend why he was so anxious to stay in touch with her. They continued to walk in silence until the shrill ring of Riana’s phone shattered the moment. She looked at the screen and knew she couldn’t ignore it.

  “I’ll make this quick.” She promised to Alex. “Hello?” She answered as a mixture of pure joy and shielded defense passed over her face. Alex took in the city lights as he tried to provide Riana some privacy for her call. She stayed close by him though, and provided Alex with a perfect one-sided conversation.

  “Hey honey.” Riana greeted. “It went really well. I had an amazing turnout for an audience.” The other person must have asked about her speaking engagement. Alex couldn’t help but smile a little as he was reminded of the impact she obviously had on everyone leaving the auditorium. “I guess I lost track of time. We went for dinner afterwards.” She looked over at Alex. “Lexi, Sam, Rebecca, Alex, Matthew, Derek and me...just some friends.” Riana suddenly halted. “Oh hell Ryan, you can’t be serious.” Alex also stopped but stayed at a bit of a distance as he sensed a turn in the emotion of the call. “No. It was not a date.” Riana barked firmly. “You are so delusional Mr. I Don’t Get Jealous.” Her eyes turned steely. “Wait, how does this work? You can freak out because I went to dinner with a group of friends and I have to just sit back and be okay with the fact that you go on trips with Nicole lasting two weeks without so much as word from you?” Riana had always been suspicious of Ryan’s relationship with his best friend Nicole but he constantly assured her nothing was going on. It didn’t ease any of her concern however. She put up with it, year after year, because she loved him. She was sure she loved him.

  Riana sighed angrily as Ryan went on the defensive. “I’m not doing this again Ryan. I refuse. I refuse to ruin my fantastic day with this.” She paused again. Alex became increasingly uncomfortable as he watched Riana get more upset. “Yes. Yes, you are ruining it. The man that is supposed to make all my fantastic days that much better is ruining it for me! I don’t even know why we’re doing this again. Seriously. If you can't trust me I don’t see why we’re even trying—I do trust you!” She shouted. “I was just simply pointing out that you were blowing a dinner out of proportion when I have been so accepting of your trips with Nicole for the past three years Ryan!”

  Riana became silent and Alex noticed tears welled up in her eyes. He decided he couldn’t just be a bystander anymore. Alex approached Riana and rested his hand on her shoulder. Riana instantly leaned into him and sighed. “I do love you Ryan, you know that. I’ve always loved you. I just can’t do this right now. I hate fighting with you. Yes, Ryan, we’re fighting. I need to not do this right now. I’m going to finish my walk and I’ll call you later.” Alex rubbed her shoulder and upper arm in silent comfort. Alex heard Ryan say he loved her and a wave of tension washed over him. “I know you do Ryan, I’ll call you soon.” She ended the call then turned her whole body towards Alex and fell into his embrace. Alex didn’t dare ask about it.

  Riana couldn’t decide, as she felt Alex’s arms around her, if the call from Ryan was the last thing she needed or the one thing she needed. The last as it ruined her wonderful day, but perhaps the best thing because it broke the undeniable draw she felt for Alex. Of course, the sensation of Alex’s strong arms as they held her tightly to his chest as the breeze wrapped itself around and through her hair didn’t curb that uncontrollable feeling any.

  Riana took a slow, deep breath and found she trembled as emotion coursed through her veins from Ryan’s venomous words. She also found that Alex smelt delicious.

  Riana pulled away from Alex and looked up at him. His eyes were warm and caring despite the fierceness of his features. Riana looked back down to prevent herself from saying or doing something she wasn’t sure she’d regret.

  They resumed their walk without a word. Riana felt the need to explain, though if she had learned anything from the past three years with Ryan it was that there was no explanation anyone could understand when it came to their relationship. It had been volatile from the very beginning. Riana tried anyway, “He’s not usually such a jerk.” Alex nodded silently. “I don’t know,” she sighed. “I think the time apart strains the relationship. Really, I don’t see how he finds the right to freak out on me as I’ve only been touring with my speaking engagements for a year, and he...well he’s had a habit of disappearing out of my life a lot for the two years before that.” Alex’s heavy black eyebrows furrowed together, he couldn’t quite understand. Why would Riana stay with someone so flaky, why would anyone disappear on her and then just expect her to be there when he returned? “Sometimes I think he deserves to be worried and jealous. I had to deal with those feelings too often. It’s his turn.” She decided with an angry pout. She sighed and leaned into Alex again. He wrapped his arm back around her.

  “I can’t say I completely understand as I know nothing about this guy or your relationship with him but I do understand how being away from your partner can strain the relationship. Kim and I deal with that a lot too.” Riana scolded herself for not remembering Kim sooner. Alex and Kim had
been together for almost five years. She was soft spoken, sweet, and always incredibly friendly to the fans. “Sometimes,” Alex continued “it’s like no matter how much you love them, when they get into that place where all they need is to be with you, nothing but you actually being there will make it better.” Riana nodded against him. “Then when you can’t… well then you feel terrible that they’re angry, lonely and insecure. Of course, if they continue to push it, then the roles reverse and you’re the one that’s angry they can’t simply understand how important it is you’re away from them at that moment to do something that could potentially make your lives together better.”

  “Hmm, at least I’m not the only one struggling with this kind of set up.” Riana observed. Alex agreed softly. They headed east, towards Lake Michigan on Monroe Street. Riana glanced down and smiled when she noticed their steps were in sync.

  “Hey!” Alex’s excited tone startled Riana out of her trance-like state and she looked up at him quickly. “Let’s go for a carriage ride!” His giddiness was adorable and even though Riana had done the carriage ride through downtown before, she couldn’t help but share in his excitement as she agreed. Alex reached down and grabbed Riana’s hand as he took off in a light jog across Millennium Park over to the horses. Riana shook her head and laughed as she struggled to keep up with him.

  Alex slowed as they approached the line of carriages. He made soft, contemplative hums as he examined each horse. Riana cocked her head to the side as she watched him. Alex finally stopped by a black Arabian Quarter cross. Riana watched quietly as Alex deliberately reached up and brushed the long black hair away from the horse’s huge, dark eyes. “I like this one.” Alex insisted. The horse reached his head forward and sniffed Alex’s sweatshirt.