Disillusioned Love Read online

  “Hey, lady, it’s okay.” Alex assured as he grinned on top of her head. “We have a whole two weeks to try and catch up.” He rubbed her back. “So, how about you show me how to clean up a horse after a ride?” Riana pulled away with a smile and nodded.

  Alex helped her untack Adonis, and carried Adonis’ saddle effortlessly to the tack room. That man sure does have nice arms. Riana thought quickly. Alex grabbed a bucket with some soap and a sponge. They talked aimlessly about the end of Ri’s book tour, how things had been going in the studio, how Riana came to own such a “huge” horse, Samantha and Lexi. Riana was thankful Alex didn’t bring up his breakup with Kim, how things were going with Ryan or how she came to have such an elaborate ranch.

  As Alex rubbed down Adonis’ front left leg and Riana rubbed down his front right, Riana suddenly had a face full of foam. She quickly sputtered and wiped her face then glared at Alex. All she got in return was a giggle. “Sorry?” Alex grinned.

  Riana pursed her lips and slowly stood up. “Mmhmm.” She quickly grabbed the hose and gave Alex a shot to the top of his head while he was still bent down next to Adonis. He gave out a scream and jumped up. Adonis jerked his head between the leads that tied him to the wash stall. Riana rubbed her hand down his neck to comfort him. She looked down and giggled at Alex. “Sorry?” She offered with the biggest grin she could muster between giggles.

  “You are so dead.” Alex threatened as he re-soaked his sponge. Riana still had a firm grip on the hose which provided her with a solid sense of who would win the fight. Alex darted underneath Adonis’ neck and grabbed the arm which held the hose, and kept it turned away from him as he squeezed the sudsy water over Riana’s head with his other hand. She gasped and laughed as she tried desperately, and unsuccessfully, to utilize her weapon. It carried on for some time, until Adonis’ nerves started to get the best of him and became restless.

  “Okay! Okay! You win!” Riana laughed in defeat. “Let’s finish him up so he can go relax.” She advised as she rubbed Adonis’ chest and nose.

  Samantha brought Derek and Matt out to the back patio where Riana had an infinity pool that overlooked the expansive desert, rolling hills and distant mountains. Also on the patio was a grill built into a solid stone bar, a wet bar next to it, a fireplace, fire ring, lounge area and hot tub. This was exactly where Matthew decided he absolutely had to try the pool and proceeded to cannonball, completely clothed, into it. “You are insane!” Samantha laughed in shock.

  “Aww, come on!” Matthew whined. “Come in, this is amazing!” He called as he floated on his back. His soaked clothing clung to his small, yet tone, frame.

  “We know it is dear, but you know, typically we like to be wearing swimsuits when we go swimming.” Lexi teased.

  “Overrated.” Matthew laughed and he sunk under the water one more time before he climbed out. The water rushed off him and he shook out his short, perfectly layered hair.

  “At least now you can change out of that outfit!” Samantha exclaimed. She released the laughter she had successfully contained when they had first arrived.

  “You guys are so mean!” Matthew complained light heartedly. Lexi tossed him a towel from one of the lounge chairs and he wiped his face quickly. They were torn from Matthew’s dramatics by the sound of laughter inside the house as Riana and Alex stumbled out back.

  “What the hell happened here?” Riana laughed when she took in Matthew’s wet appearance and the laughter of the other three.

  Matthew laughed, “Your pool is lovely Ri.” He skipped over to her and wrapped her in a hug. “Thanks for inviting us.” He pulled away and looked at her and Alex. “What happened to you two?” He questioned as he examined Riana and Alex’s own wet, soapy look.

  “It’s Alex’s fault.” Riana declared as she shot Alex a stern look over her shoulder. Alex laughed deeply. She shook her head, “I have to get changed. Come on Alex, I’ll show you to your room.” She said as she turned and grabbed his hand. Samantha was the first to see it, a smile grew on her face as she watched Riana’s fingers interlace with Alex’s. Soon, quick glances were shared among Derek, Matt and Lexi as Riana and Alex headed inside.

  “Um--” Derek started.

  Lexi hushed him quickly. “It’s fine.” Samantha and Lexi found each other’s eyes and smiled lightly. They both wanted Riana to see how toxic her relationship with Ryan was and they knew Alex was good for her, even if Riana didn’t want him romantically.

  Alex’s breath caught in his throat as he felt Riana’s fingers intertwine with his. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and Riana looked up at him with a shy smile. She didn’t let go once they were back in the house and she pulled him behind her as she headed up the stairs. Alex fought the thoughts that rushed through his mind; how he wanted to pull her back by the connection of their hands and press his lips to hers as he tangled his hands in her long hair. His mind hastily scolded him. He focused on the grand house that surrounded him instead of his impractical fantasies. It was beautiful; modern, yet homey. It was practically an extension of Riana herself.

  Riana took a left down the hall and stopped in front of a closed door. “Okay, here it is. Your room for the next couple weeks.” She smiled as she grasped the brushed nickel door knob and pushed the door open. Alex was taken aback by the spacious room that greeted him. It was comfortable and inviting.

  “Wow, Ri.” He commented as he stepped inside.

  “Is it okay?” Riana questioned as she hesitantly followed him inside. Alex turned to face her and barely shook his head in disbelief. She too often seemed to question herself and the things she had to offer the world.

  “Okay?” He echoed as he looked around. “This is amazing!” He laughed as he spread his arms and threw himself back on the lofty bed.

  Riana smiled down at him, her own mind was a flurry of mixed thoughts and feelings. “Well, um, I’m going to go get changed. There’s a bathroom right next door, and Derek’s room is across the hall.” She turned to leave but stopped short. “Thanks for coming Alex, I’m glad you’re all here.”

  “Of course, Ri.” Alex answered softly. “I’m glad we’re here too.” She nodded then let herself out of his room and gently closed the door behind her.

  Alex let go of a deep breath and tried to calm his thoughts. He looked down at the hand Ri had held and he flexed it slowly as he recalled the sensation of her petite hand. He didn’t want to get tangled up in these conflicting feelings. He knew she had Ryan and, despite how much he wished she didn’t, she wanted to make things work with Ryan. The last thing Alex wanted was for things to get weird between them. However, he couldn’t ignore the way he couldn’t stop smiling around her, the way his breaths were uneven and his heart rate became heavy and fast. He couldn’t deny the simplistic joy he felt in being around her. Buried beneath that he started to realize he also couldn’t deny the fire she lit within him, everything about her was utterly irresistible.

  After Riana closed Alex’s door she leaned back and sighed. She was flustered. It had felt so right to have his fingers laced between hers, but she knew she shouldn’t have done it. She allowed her eyelids to flutter closed and all she saw was his smile, his eyes, and the way he shook his head when he laughed at her. Her eyes shot open as she silently scolded herself. She set her jaw, walked away from his door and hurried back downstairs.

  The sound of laughter greeted her as she reached the bottom of the staircase. The house felt so alive as Lexi, Sam, Derek and Matt discussed what to make for dinner. Riana smiled to herself then scampered down the hall to get freshened up and changed. She walked into her master suite and shut the door, determined not to think any more about the muddled mess of feelings within her. She quickly stripped off her wet tank top and her mud caked jeans. She scurried to the shower, stepped in under the steamy jets and let the water wash over her as she closed her eyes and attempted a quick meditation. The steam thickened the air and she slowly felt the tension in her muscles release. She reset her resolve to make things
work with Ryan, and to re-establish her friendship with the guys.

  Riana realized she was probably in the shower longer than she had intended and hopped out quickly. She wrapped a bath sheet around her and darted towards her walk-in to get some clean clothes. An impatient knocking stopped her halfway to her destination. She dashed over to the door and flung it open. “Ria--” Matthew stopped short and a quick blush crept up his cheeks. “Oh, um, sorry… We were just wondering if you were going to come hang with us while we made dinner.” He refused to make eye contact with her, and at first Riana was confused, until she remembered she was fresh out of the shower and clad only in a towel.

  “Oh my God, Matt, no, I’m sorry. Kinda, um, wasn’t expecting it to be you at my door.” She laughed as she held the towel a bit tighter to her body. “Let me get dressed and I’ll be right there.” Matt nodded and turned silently away. Riana laughed to herself as she slipped into a sundress, towel dried her hair and tossed it up.

  As Riana approached the kitchen she heard endless laughter and conversation. The whole place just felt right. She heard snippets of things; “...No Matt, I’m telling you if you angle it like this…” “So this one time Matt had tried to make crème brule…” “No one told me how to use the torch!” “...you sure you want to trust him around an open flame?” More laughter.

  “Hey kittens!” Riana chirped as she turned into the expansive kitchen. She was greeted warmly as she weaved her way through everyone and checked out the progress being made on dinner. Fresh veggies and steaks were spread over cutting boards on the island, and a pan of boiling water was on one of the six burners of the gas stove. “This looks amazing.” She gushed.

  “Just wait until it’s finished. You won’t believe your taste buds.” Matt declared in a singing voice. They all settled into an easy rhythm as they brought ingredients out to counters and gathered place settings all the while they maintained comfortable conversation. Alex had come down just shortly after Riana and despite how hard Riana tried she couldn’t keep her eyes off him. Whereas her eyes would often darken, narrow and feel more intense with Ryan; Alex seemed to lighten them. She could tell they often danced with amusement. He’d catch her here and there and he’d give a quick smile or wink.

  Riana became overwhelmed and excused herself from the kitchen. She went to take a moment for herself outside, the laughter faded behind her. She debated on sending Ryan a message, just to say hi, and to keep her focus, but she knew it wouldn’t help her situation.

  “Hey sweetheart.” Samantha’s sweet Canadian voice called from behind Riana. Riana turned and looked over her shoulder. She gazed at Sam for a moment. The mixture of the Arizona sunset and the fire Riana sat in front of brought out the contrast of the red in Sam’s blonde hair. She gave Sam a half-hearted smile. “Oh I know that look.” Samantha insisted as she sat down next to Riana. “That’s the look of internal conflict you’re undoubtedly going to try and suffocate and not talk about.” Riana wanted to argue with her, but knew it’d be pointless. She dropped her head and sighed.

  Alex brought down his camera and recorded Matthew as he cooked and Derek stood to the side and gave a play by play. “Here we are, taking a much needed break from the studio, in an all secret location. It was a long trip and we’re absolutely starving so it’s time for another episode of ‘Adventures In Cooking With D.M.A.’” Lexi tried to hide a giggle. “As you can see, Matthew is currently preparing the steaks, which have already been marinated.” Derek did the best accents and it appeared that night he would be Australian. He poked the steaks. “Mmm...seems tender.”

  “Ugh, Derek, man, get your fingers off my steak!” Alex turned the camera on himself and twisted up his face. “Gross.” Lexi giggled again. Matthew seemed to have perfected the art of ignoring the brothers as he cooked. Alex turned the camera back around and panned over the spread of food they had set up to be taken to the grill. “Looks delicious… We’ll be taking the party outside here in a minute.” He told his audience, which Lexi was sure would be the fan club members, as he walked out to the patio.

  “Oh, I hope he doesn’t get Ri on camera.” Lexi moaned. Derek turned to her and questioned her silently. “She’s not doing well with the fans guys. I know she has a hard-ass image, but she truly feels terrible about everything and doesn’t want to cause any more problems.”

  Matthew finally turned away from the stove where he had started the rice. “All she has to worry about is us Lex. And trust me, we don’t feel like she’s causing problems.”

  “She’s just such a worrier.” Lexi sighed and rested her chin in her hands.

  Matt smiled at her, “I know she is.” He said, then turned his attention back to the stove.

  Lexi knew Riana wouldn’t want her to say anything further, but she felt Matt should know. “She’s…she’s pretty anxious about meeting your wife.”

  “What? Why?” Matt asked quickly and turned back towards Lexi.

  Lexi groaned, painfully aware of the wrath Riana would drop if she knew Lexi told Matthew. “Well come on Matt, think about it. She blames herself for Alex’s breakup with Kim. She just… well she knows how much she loves Sam and I and she feels if it were one of us dating someone close to her partner and we ended up heartbroken, she’d blame the ‘other woman’ so to speak.” Lexi sighed. “She feels like the other woman. She’s afraid Tabitha already hates her.”

  Matthew released a slow breath. “I’m sure she doesn’t.” He assured. “But I can see why Ri would be worried she does.”

  Lexi slapped her open palms against the granite countertop. “Okay.” She proclaimed. “Enough of this downer talk. Let’s get those steaks on the grill. But don’t either of you say anything about what I just told you.” She shot both of them a stern look, then smiled as she grabbed a platter off the counter and left the kitchen.

  Alex continued his narration as he walked out on the patio. “Now this is a grill. Can’t wait to get those hunks of meat on it.” He laughed a bit then panned the camera out to take in the sunset. “There’s some spiritual handiwork. Seriously, you can’t paint anything like that.” He panned back over, across the pool and then saw the back of Riana and Sam’s heads. “And there are two of my favorite ladies!” He called out.

  Samantha turned her head, smiled and waved then gently nudged Riana. Riana glanced over her shoulder and gave a shy wave. Alex turned the camera back on himself. “Alright kids, this food isn’t going to cook itself and we all know we can’t trust Matt to be without adult supervision around open flame. See you next time!” He stopped recording and moseyed over to Riana and Sam. “Hey ladies, what’s happenin?” He grinned. Riana rolled her eyes at him with a smile.

  “Not a whole lot, just taking a break from all the laughter, my abs hurt.” Samantha teased.

  “Ah, yes, that is bound to happen.” Alex agreed solemnly. “Great workout though.” He grinned.

  “Hey!” Derek hollered. “Who wants drinks?” Samantha hopped up quickly and gave Riana’s knee a small, reassuring squeeze.

  “Oh you know one of those is coming this way.” Sam laughed as she skipped over to the wet bar.

  Alex remained next to where Riana sat for a moment he felt was too long. “You want me to grab you a drink Ri?” She looked up at him and gave a small smile as she pondered the question.

  “Actually, yeah. I think I’ll have one.” Riana had only confided a small snippet of the mass confusion in her head to Sam. She told her about how right it felt to hold Alex’s hand. She told Sam how much she had missed him. There was even a confession of how Riana couldn’t deny the difference between Alex’s smile and Ryan’s. She didn’t, however, disclose how desperately she wanted to walk away from Ryan and straight into Alex’s arms. She knew it was stupid to even think it, let alone say it. Even if it wasn’t completely far-fetched, she couldn’t imagine going there so soon after his breakup with Kim.

  Alex reached his hand down to help her up and despite the warnings in her head; Don’t do it Riana, don’t take
his hand, she smiled at him and easily slipped her hand into his. The stone bar off the built in grill was a short walk from the outdoor fireplace she sat next to and she quickly, albeit reluctantly, slid her hand from his as she hopped up on a bar stool.

  Alex walked around and joined Derek behind the bar. Riana settled in between Lexi and Sam and grinned, first at them, then across the way at the guys. Derek dug through the mini fridge while Alex checked out the wide array of bottles which sat on the corner of the bar. Matthew kept a watchful eye on the meal. “See, now here’s when I wish I would have paid more attention when I saw that horrible movie ‘Cocktail’.” Alex laughed while he attempted to spin one of the liquor bottles.

  “Just remember, you break it you buy it.” Riana teased.

  “Alright ladies,” Derek started as he came back up from the fridge. “It appears we have… Smirnoff coolers, Guinness, Mikes and a wide variety of wine and mixers. What can I get ya?”

  Riana called for a glass of Asti, Lexi a glass of Moscato and Sam opted for a Guinness. Derek nodded as he accepted the glasses from Alex and provided the ladies with their drinks. Riana took a sip of her chilled wine and closed her eyes. She breathed deeply and attempted to process it all. Despite her internal conflict regarding Alex she couldn’t have been happier. She was at her ranch, laughing with her two best friends and three men who had quickly become part of her elite private circle. Three men whom she never thought she’d meet, let alone form any kind of relationship with.

  Matthew managed to finish the steaks with only three minor fires in the grill, which they all teased him about relentlessly. Riana had a second glass of wine with dinner and she started to feel the effect of relaxation take over her body. “This is quite delicious Matt!” Sam said excitedly.

  “So little faith you have in me.” Matthew laughed. They finished dinner, remained at the table and continued their naturally flowing conversation. Sam, Lexi and Riana told the guys how they came to be such good friends, Riana’s trips to Canada, and how Riana and Lexi went to school together. They talked about each other’s families, and things like their favorite vacation spots and the scariest rides they’d ever been on. It seemed to go on endlessly. Occasionally Riana would share a knowing smile with Matthew as he already knew much of what was shared. The haunting calls of coyotes began to fill the air and Riana noticed small yawns around the table.