Disillusioned Love Read online

  Derek smiled at how thorough Lexi was with plans. “Yep, we’re good. Trust me, ‘out there’ is exactly what we need. We should be landing at about eleven thirty, we'll grab the rental and head out, putting us at the ranch around three I think.” Derek calculated as he lounged in the living room and awaited the other two.

  “Perfect!” Lexi enthused. “I’m so excited to see you!”

  “Us too Lexi.” Derek smiled. “This will be great. I gotta run though, gotta wrangle up these city folk.” He finished in another terribly overdone southern accent. Lexi laughed and bid farewell.

  Derek turned around at the sound of heavy boots and an even heavier suitcase being pulled down the stairs. “Oh Matthew you cannot be serious!” Derek chortled. Matthew definitely took the trip seriously. Derek took in his outfit: it started with some God awful red flame boots, a pair of jeans Derek was sure would prevent any further children from Matthew, and ended with what Derek was sure Matt thought was a “fashionable” button down plaid shirt.

  “Derek!” Matthew gasped, offended. “This outfit is perfect.” He defended as he rolled his suitcase down the hall. “Tabitha told me so.” He grinned proudly.

  Derek laughed again. “I think Tabs is just perfecting the art of making you undesirable to other women.”

  “Ha ha, D.” Matt said dryly.

  “They’re still coming out on Friday right?” Derek asked. The guys had figured it wouldn’t have been fair for them to take a break without having Matthew’s family come out to spend time with him as well.

  “Indeed.” Matthew confirmed as he languidly slid into the armchair across from Derek. “Tabs is still at her parents’ place with Spencer for a couple days then they’ll head out.” He glanced down at his watch. “You’d think Alex would have been the first one ready to go.”

  Derek felt the same way, but he knew something was a bit different between Alex and Riana since Alex’s breakup with Kim. “I think he’s actually a bit nervous to see her again.” Matthew frowned at Derek’s words. “I’ll go get him.” Derek declared as he stood up. He jogged up the stairs then knocked on Alex’s door. “Alex, man, you almost ready to head out?”

  “Umm, yeah, I think so.” Alex pondered as he opened his door. His hair hung in his face, and his eyes revealed apprehension.

  “Bro, you alright?” Derek asked quickly as he slung his arm over Alex’s broad shoulders. Before Alex could answer his phone dinged. He pulled it out and opened a text that Derek quickly saw was from Riana.

  “Can’t wait to see you!”

  Color returned to Alex’s face and a smiled sparked in his eye. “Yeah, man, I’m good.”

  “Heeeeey Adonis.” Riana cooed as she approached the stall of her favorite horse. She loved them all of course, but Adonis held a special place in her heart. He was a Friesian, adopted from a local rescue. The big, sweet boy was a reminder to Riana of how love could save someone. His rich, black coat was flawed by deep scarring from years of abuse. She adopted him when he was five years old; he had been skittish for almost a full year before he learned to trust Riana. She’d been told by her ranch hands that he was too unpredictable to ever trust and ride. She never gave up on him; she spent endless hours near him but far enough away to seem non-threatening. She waited patiently, day after day, until Adonis finally approached her. She spent another six months working with him to ease his nerves and prepare him for riding. They’d been inseparable ever since.

  She heard his heavy footsteps approach his door, and his big black nose reached out and gave her a quick snort. She rubbed his velvet nose, then kissed it softly. “Wanna go for a ride?” Adonis jerked his head up, backed up and allowed Riana to step inside to grab him.

  Riana had some time before the guys arrived and she decided to use it to clear her head. Riding typically worked for that, and she did much of her best writing after an exhausting ride with Adonis. However, on this day, she was a bit worried about what she might come up with after she cleared and organized her thoughts. She was on auto pilot as she tacked up Adonis and let her mind wander back over the last three months. She felt torn; being with Derek, Matthew and Alex brought her so much joy, yet being with them had also caused a lot of drama and hurt to other people as well as each other.

  Adonis and Riana took off slowly. They meandered through the front yard, Ri said goodbye to Lexi and Samantha, and assured them she’d be back in time to meet the guys when they arrived. She then urged Adonis to stretch his legs as they eased into a trot, and headed out towards the expansive eighty acres her ranch was settled on. The majority of her stress didn’t come from the guys’ arrival, it was that within days she would meet Tabitha. Riana could only imagine the amount of resentment Tabitha held towards her in regards to Alex’s breakup with Kim. Matthew tried to assure Riana everything would be okay, but she knew if it were her in Tabitha’s place she’d definitely blame the “other woman.” Even if nothing technically happened.

  Riana leaned into Adonis and pushed him from a trot, past a canter and into a full gallop. She closed her eyes against the wind as her hair whipped around her. She heard Adonis’ deep breaths and felt a thin layer of sweat form along his neck. She tried to focus on the ride, and not think about things like Alex’s smile, because it led her to think of Ryan’s smile. She then couldn’t ignore the differences between them. Alex held a sparkle in his eyes when he smiled, but Ryan could close himself off emotionally and just give her the bare minimums. Ryan’s smiles never seemed to meet his eyes. Ryan loved her though, didn’t he? He’d always been there, inconsistently perhaps, but he always came back. She wondered, wasn’t there a saying; “if you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it’s yours”? Then surely Ryan was hers. Perhaps it wasn’t love, though. Maybe he came back simply because Riana allowed it, much as Lexi and Samantha told her. Riana couldn’t deny her draw to Ryan though; he was like gravity to her, a pull she was powerless to resist. He’d had that effect on her from the very beginning. Alex quickly started to have that effect on her as well. She had tried to pull away from him to prove to Ryan where her loyalty was, but it wasn’t easy. She was frequently tempted to call or text Alex, she craved his voice and to hear the smile always behind it.

  She felt selfish. She didn’t want to bring any more stress or drama to them. Too many people knew about her friendship with him, Derek and Matthew already. Her social media followers had at least quadrupled after the pictures were posted. Most of the new followers were obsessed, not with her, but with D.M.A. and frequently posted to her questions about Alex, Kim, and the band. She huffed in annoyance as she thought about it. Ryan saw it too then hounded her with the same ridiculous questions.

  Riana pulled back on Adonis as they approached the lake, she figured he could use a drink and she could stand to stretch her legs. She dismounted, not an easy task with how large Adonis was, grabbed his reins and led him slowly to the edge of the lake. She sighed deeply. She didn’t know how the next two weeks would go, but she instinctively knew it would be intense.

  Riana became immersed in her thoughts as she watched the hypnotic small waves move up onto the shore of the lake. Adonis brought her back to the present by how he pranced around anxiously. She noticed the sun sat lower on the horizon than she thought it should have been. She glanced at her watch, cursed, and leapt up from the ground. She scolded herself as she grabbed Adonis’ reins. She knew she wouldn’t have enough time to freshen up before the guys got there.

  She led Adonis over to a large stump so she could hoist herself back into the saddle. She kicked him in the side and took off faster than they had run on the way out. She groaned and grumbled all the way back, angry at herself for having lost track of time.

  Alex was glad the flight out to Arizona had been so uneventful, however, it had also left him with plenty of time to think. Sometimes, thinking wasn’t the best thing for him. Especially when he found himself thinking about Riana, Sam and Lexi. The last three months were amazing, even if the last month had been t
ense. He felt Riana slip away. He never knew if he should push her to talk about things. Lexi had told him sometimes Riana would get defensive if people pushed too hard against her and Ryan. He worried he would end up pushing her further away if he voiced his concerns. Alex hoped some time essentially in the middle of nowhere with her would help work things out.

  “Damn it’s nice out here.” Derek commented as they drove along the ridge of Arizona Snowball, a local ski resort. Riana’s ranch was just northeast of it, towards Humphrey’s Peak. Alex opened his phone, reread Riana’s last message and smiled.

  “It’s crazy to think she’s just as much at home here as she is in the middle of downtown Chicago.” Matthew laughed. Alex gazed out the window and continued to smile. Riana was full of surprises like that. Just when he thought he knew what would come she’d change course and leave him shaking his head.

  Derek mumbled about the GPS as he slowed down to find the side road that would eventually take them to Riana’s. Alex perked up, they were definitely close. Derek took a left and brought them down a narrow road, tightly lined with thick trees. There were mountain peaks barely visible through the trees. Slowly, it started to clear. “No way.” Matthew gasped slowly, his voice heavy with disbelief as the trees finally cleared. Their car was greeted by a wrought iron gate locked between two stucco pillars. He wasn’t speaking of the gate; he was stunned by the house locked behind it.

  “Damn Alex, did you know apparently Riana is some sort of multi-millionaire?” Derek laughed as he whirled his window down and pushed the buzzer.

  “Yes?” Samantha’s voice rang through the speaker.

  “Housekeeping! We fluff pillow!” Derek called.

  “Derek!” She squealed between giggles. The gate released and swung open. Derek turned to Alex and grinned, then slowly drove inside.

  “This reminds me of your mom and dad’s place.” Alex observed to Matthew. Matt nodded in agreement. The house was up to the left, expansive but welcoming with its huge front porch and tall windows. To the right was a large stable, arena, what appeared to be a guest house and another pole barn. Beyond, nothing but picturesque scenery for as far as the eye could see. There were horses in the pasture and two dogs in the yard, who excitedly announced their arrival. Derek parked the SUV and they all exited. They stretched out their backs and legs. The dogs continued to circle, bark and dance happily around them.

  “Guys!” Lexi yelled as she hopped off the porch and jogged to them. “How was the drive?”

  “Great.” Derek replied as he scooped Lexi into a hug. “It’s absolutely beautiful out here.”

  “Right?” Samantha grinned as she hugged Alex then Matthew. She gave a little snort. “Nice outfit Matt.”

  “Hey! I thought it was fitting.” Matt defended while he looked down at his attire with a small pout.

  Alex shook his head and laughed. “I told you Matt.” Derek teased.

  “Riana should be here soon. She said she’d be back before you got here but, well, she loses track of time pretty easily when she’s out with Adonis.” Lexi explained as she helped the sulking Matthew unload the back.

  A sudden rush of worry took hold of Alex, “Adonis?”

  Before Lexi could reply the dogs started to bark as they ran towards the back of the house. Within seconds the thundering of hooves could be heard before Riana barreled around the corner of the house on top of a huge black horse. Alex stared in wonder, he knew that horses in general were large animals but this thing was massive. He smiled proudly when he took in how well Riana rode. She pulled the horse in their direction, both she and the horse were sweaty, and hair a mess. Alex noticed it again, the heavy beating of his heart as he saw Riana smile. She pulled back on the reins and the horse slowed to a stop. He stomped his front feet a few times as he caught his breath. “Adonis.” Lexi stated simply. Alex nodded slowly in comprehension.

  Riana went to dismount and Matthew quickly stepped behind her to assist her down. “Thanks.” She huffed between her own heavy breaths. “I’m so sorry I’m late.”

  “Again my dear, the problem with punctuality.” Alex teased. Riana grinned at him then moved closer to him, her monster horse in tow.

  “Hey Alex.” She greeted softly. Alex didn’t move to hug her. He wanted to, but it didn’t feel right at the moment. Something felt...different to him.

  “This is a beautiful horse.” Derek commented as he walked up beside Riana. She looked up at the horse and gave a deep and loving smile.

  “Ah, yes, which is why he’s so deserving of the name Adonis. Huh buddy?” She questioned as she rubbed his nose. “I hate to show up and then run off right away, but I have to get him cleaned up, rubbed down and put to pasture. Sam and Lexi can take you in and show you around. Matt, I figured you could hang in the house the first few nights then take the guest house when Tabitha and your son come if that works?”

  “Sounds perfect Ri.” Matt agreed as he picked up his bags. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and followed behind Sam. Alex felt torn. He knew he should follow Matt and Derek but he felt like he needed a moment with Riana.

  “Ri, can I come with?” Alex called out quickly. She turned and gave him a smile, as if she knew the question was coming, and nodded.

  “Come on Sparky.” Alex smiled as he remember she said essentially the same thing after dinner in Chicago.

  Matthew and Derek followed behind Lexi and Sam, and tried to take it all in. There was a huge wrap around porch on the front of the house, complete with tables, chairs, and a swing. Derek imagined how easy it would be to sit there with his guitar, face the mountains, and come up with some new songs. Both Derek and Matt realized if they thought they were amazed when they pulled up to the house, it was nothing compared to what greeted them as they followed Lexi through the heavy, Mahogany, double doors.

  They were met with a short marble hallway, painted light blue with silver accents, that opened up to the great room. The ceilings seemed to actually reach the sky as the horizon overtook the far wall created with floor to ceiling windows. To the right of the great room was a huge gourmet kitchen. Derek knew Matthew was going to love it as he was an avid cook and enjoyed experimenting with new things. It was filled with dark cherry cupboards, beautiful granite countertops and all stainless appliances. Off the kitchen was a small yet bright breakfast nook, behind was a large formal dining room, layered in reds. As they continued their tour Derek took in two more living areas, four bathrooms, a walk out to the huge in ground pool and hot tub. He quickly decided they might not want to leave in two weeks.

  “Matthew, this will be your room.” Samantha declared as she opened up one of the upstairs doors. Matt gave a low whistle as he stepped inside. There was a large king sized bed against the right wall, tall windows faced out to the mountains, an en suite and walk in closet. “At least until Tabitha and Spencer get here, then you can have the guest house if you’d like.”

  “The guest house.” Derek chuckled with a small shake of his head. “I really had no idea Riana was… well… so well off.”

  Lexi gave Derek a small smile. “Yeah, she doesn’t exactly like to talk about it. It was an inheritance. She rather people not know and like her for her instead of the money.”

  Both Matthew and Derek nodded. “We know how that goes.” Matt confirmed.

  “Ryan doesn’t even know about this place.” Samantha commented.

  “What? Really?” Derek exclaimed. “Wow.”

  “Yep, so you know, feel privileged.” Lexi teased with a wink at Derek.

  Matthew stood in the center of his room. He was still as he took it all in; the soft grey walls, the pristine white bedding and smooth hardwood floors. “Matt, you can drop off your bags, it might be wise to continue the tour with us.” Samantha laughed. “I wouldn’t want you to get lost.”

  As they proceeded down the hall Lexi pointed out where she and Sam stayed, another bathroom and a study. “D, this is your room.” Lexi opened a door to another large bedroom with a similar layout
to the one Matt would stay in.

  “Very nice, thank you.” Derek praised as he tossed his bags onto the deep blue comforter.

  “Alex will be right across the hall, and Riana’s room is downstairs.” Sam explained. “She should be about done with Adonis by now. We can head down and I’ll show you the back patio.” She grinned and hopped up and down. “You’re going to love it!”

  “I can’t imagine there’d be anything in this place we wouldn’t love!” Matthew laughed as he slung his arm over Samantha. Given the drastic height difference between the two, the image was quite hilarious.

  Chapter Nine

  Ordinary People

  As Lexi and Samantha gave the tour to Derek and Matthew, Riana and Alex were on their way to the barn with Adonis. Alex walked next to Riana, but seemed distracted as he looked off into the distance. “You alright Alex?” Riana questioned. He looked over at her and smiled. Despite how Riana felt that something was off with him she still smiled back.

  “I’m good.” He paused for a moment. “I’ve missed you Ri.” Riana instantly felt the heaviness of his words and guilt gripped her. She had been selfish to pull away as much as she did after everything went down. She didn’t stop to think if, or how, pulling away affected him. Riana stopped and grabbed Alex’s arm when he didn’t stop right away with her.

  Alex’s eyes locked on hers, the intensity of his eyes broke through his shaggy black hair. “I’ve missed you too Alex.” Riana admitted softly as she fell easily into his arms. Alex rubbed her back and she breathed deeply. She was quickly comforted by his scent. “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy, and distracted and just…I’m sorry.”